Transworld war
by The Sin Of Envy
Summary: Ed/Envy pairing. Ed uses philosophers stone on Al but he and Envy are sent by the gate to help in Harry Potters world. Will they protect their secret or will the nosy wizard's find them out? READ! Better than summary....
1. Chapter 1

HEY fanfictioners of the world! I don't own F.M.A. or Harry potter. Hence why I'm on FANfiction. The fiction of the fans not author.

well let's get writing! Woooooooh!

In this Edward is a chimera because I'm gonna mess with him. Ed/Envy fic yay! Palm tree love!

Envy: the hell I'm a palm tree stupid human.

Ed: You are a palm tree.

Envy: Shut up kitty.

Ed: pouts.

Chibi: O.K. in this ed is a cathuman chimera, a perfect one. no screwed mind or body k? just heightened senses like smell, sight, taste reflexes and....he can purr!hurray for purring Ed!

Also he and envy are already together after dante dies, so no angsty, he's my enemy/guy/palm tree/rival and he hates me so it would never work/if something happens is he just screwing with me or does he mean it crap. YAY! Everyone knows and doesn't care. And no boo hoo Envy's gonna live forever after Ed dies crap- because he's a chimera he has to have a small amount of red stones(i'll think of a small power later) so he IS immortal!!! GO immortality!

CHAPTER 1

"Are you sure it's gonna work brother? What if it takes more than your leg and arm this time? What..."

"Al stop worrying. I may be a chimera but I'm still the prodigy Fullmetal Alchemist."

"Hurry uuuup chibi I'm bored."

"Shut up Envy. I'm going."

Alphonse clanked into the middle of the array and waited for Ed to begin. Ed took a deep breath scanning the symbols and the circle in which the deceptively innocent philosophers stone. He shook his head from bad thoughts and placed his hands upon the array making it light up blue. Symbols glowed and swirled around Alphonse and attached themselves to him. The metal melted away leaving only the patch on which the blood seal was smeared. it glowed a deep red and pushed copies of itself of the metal, like pulsing smoke-rings. Ed and Envy watched in fascination at the successful human transmutation.

"He's gonna feel again.." Ed whispered tearfully. Envy smiled unconsciously. While he was still a homunculus who loved to torture and kill, Ed had entered the almost invisible circle of the sin's protection and love. Envy had something he actually wanted and was quite possessive. Ed was his and should have anything he wanted. And what he wanted was a human Al. So he gave him one of his Philosopher stone's to do it. He kinda liked the kid as well, he could calm his brother down and was a good kid. he still wasn't in the small circle of emotions but he was pretty close, on the edge Envy would say.

Suddenly a giant flash of light and they saw flesh, proportioned hands and straw coloured hair. Ed gasped in joy. Just as suddenly a red circle appeared around Ed. Envy immediately leapt into it to protect his o'chibi-san. He circled the alchemist's waist and drew him close to himself. They were surrounded by white light and a tall door appeared. He could feel ed tense.

"No..." He whispered hoarsely. " It was supposed to work, Al looked fine why now?"

"What is it o'chibi-san?" Envy murmured in his ear.

"That, Envy, is...the gate. The gate of truth."

Envy clutched his chibi all the tighter. It opened slowly, majestically and and ethereal voice floated out.

"Your brother is safe Edward. But that philosophers stone was not enough."

"AL!"

"Hush, he said he was well so it must have done something." Envy placated.

"True Homunculus Envy. I have restored you brother but you know only too well of equivalent exchange in this world. For his memories and continuous life you must help me with a matter that is not of your world but another."

Ed looked into the gate and saw flashes of people in robes pointing sticks at each other with jets and sparks of light shooting out the end.

"In this world Alchemy is magic and they don't think of equivalent exchange. Their punishment is this. but the wizard I'd sent also thinks nothing of it and must be obliterated. The one opposing him needs help badly for he is a child of sixteen yet has no concept of the real world and will need prompting. You will help Dumbledore and destroy Voldemort. Voldemort wishes to become a homunculus so you need to properly destroy him. Do not tell anyone of your mission, they will ask where you are from and you may answer but not of your purpose."

Ed thought of this. Kill one person for Al to live happily, and and evil person at that.

"I'll do it. But can Envy come as well."

"He may, you might need protecting, but try to keep both your immortality to yourself or Voldemort will be after you."

Envy answered this time, cheerful at the prospect of killing. "Isn't that the point?"

"Their magic may not harm you but they can somewhat harm Edward. Since he is part chimera and an alchemist this will deflect most of the spells but some will not."

"I see. Well, let's do this O'chibi-san!"

he yelled in false happiness. Ed nodded and a blue light began to engulf them.

"WAIT!" Edward shouted. "Can i still do alchemy?!"

The gate said nothing as they were swallowed by blue light.......

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Albus Dumbledore was thinking of what types of passwords to give gryffindor and hufflepuff(slytherin &ravenclaw don't have passwords) when a ice blue light engulfed his crowded office and two human shaped blurs landed in a flump in front of his desk. the light receded and he saw a short, blonde boy collapsed underneath a taller pale boy with blackish green hair. Refusing to let this faze him, he put on a pleasant smile as they came to. The blond woke up first, bleary eyed and confused.

"great," he heard the teen mutter as he shook the other boy." Where has it dumped us this time? Envy.."

What was the lad talking about. He decided to speak.

"Hello, and may i ask what you are doing here?"

On reflection maybe not the best question for a disorientated child. The blond stared at him in shock, for the most part staring at his clothing then his hat.

"What. The fuck. Are you." He said in a deadpanned voice, in English this time, which Albus suppose came from being a muggle landing infront of a wizard after being transported by magic.

"No swearing please." Letting just that bit of admonishment made most people blush in embarrassment. (Of course Ed didn't)

"Fine. Now, who are you and where and when is this?"

Speaking like an adult. Interesting.

"My name is Albus Dumbledore." he said.

No recognition, maybe not a wizard.

" This is hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry."

Definitely not a wizard, hogwarts is famous.

"And this is 2005"

Widened eyes. Different time period? Impossible, the best wizards here were haven't been able to time travel yet.

"who are you?"

A groan interrupted the interrogation. The green haired boy shifted and rolled onto the cold floor. Albus watched in amusmant as he cursed and flipped over,

"Edo-kun? Where the hell did it drop us off at?"

"Different planet, different time frame in front of a headmaster for magic."

"Greaaaat. Does he know anything?"

"About us no, but about anything. he has a lot a books."

"Haha, _o'chibi-san._"

"WH-"

"Ahem." Dumbledore coughed politely, catching the attention of both boys. The green haired one spoke this time in a cold, disturbing voice for a child.

"Yes?"

BAM!

"Albus I heard a tremendous bang what..." Proffessor Macgonagall stopped at the sight of the two boys. She straightened. "And they are?"

"Just what I was going to ask Minerva."

"Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist."

The green haired child must have caught onto the language switch. "I am the sin of Envy."

Dumbledore just smiled at the answers.

"Well mr. Elric..."

"Call me Ed."

"Well Ed. Do you know how you got here?"

Ed thought for a second. Then shook his head. "Me and Envy were working on an array when it glowed and we ended up here."

"An array?"

"yeah, you know, alchemy? or is there no such thing here?"

"There is magic, but alchemy is a dead art here, not properly used for centuries. Where are you from?"

"We are from a different dimension, from a place called Amestris 1916 where the only ones to use alchemy are the military."

"Well you are now in a place called England, 2005 where magic is used."

"Hmmm, do you have a library, we need to start researching on a way to get home."

"Why certainly. It's August now so my students will be back in september. To them you will be researching on the philosopher's stone."

Everything went very still.

"What. did you say?" Ed whispered. Dumbledore frowned. "Is there something wrong with the philosopher's stone?"

"Why did you choose that subject? Why?" hissed Ed.

"Because I am the only one to have made one so it would be logical for you to research here."

Now the boy who called himself a sin spoke still in that cold, calculating voice. "How did you make it? What did it do?"

"If you knew about the stone you would know it took lot's of spells and refining from tree saps and other materials to capture the spell in it's essence. It gave the drinker immortal life and made gold, a very superficial cause."

Albus watched in suspicion as both visibly relaxed but the haunted look remained in the golden eyes of the blond boy. Strange.

"What are your names?" Envy finally asked, tired of referring to them in his head as stict and beardy.

"I am Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. And this is the deputy headmistress Professor macgonagall. You are?"

"I already said senile fool. I am the sin of Envy."

"No-one can be a sin."

"My name is Envy and I am it's sin."

"So we are to call you Envy i presume?"

"Yes."

Macgonagall spoke up at last. "What an absurd idea.."

"My name is Envy and you shall adress me as such or you won't live to remember."

"Envy stop threatening people, you promised."

"but Chibi..."

"No, I don't want any more massacre's 'kay?"

"Fine but you're taking all the fun out of this."

"Might I ask before we arrange your lodgings your ages?" Dumbledore interjected, now sure it was a hollow threat as the blond boy was surely joking.

"I'm 18."

"I'm.....Chibi how long have I known you?"

"Three years Envy."

"Okay, My age is... 419."

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. Ed's eyes widened and he nudged Envy fakely laughing.

"Good one Envy. No, he's just 19."

A look passed between them and Envy nodded, smirking as a comfirmation of the joke.

"well, Let Mr. Filch show you to your lodging and then you may explore around the castle to find your bearings. I'm afraid Madame Pince, the librarian with the only key is not back until the students which is on the first of september so you have two whole weeks to get lost and relax before plunging into finding a way to your world. But be careful of my students, they tend to stick their noses where they want."

Both boys nodded. Ed stood up straight and saluted him slightly, reminding the old headmaster of his earlier statements.

_" Edward Elric, fullmetal Alchemist....."_

_"...where only the military perform alchemy...."_

Very interesting indeed.

"Thanks for the help Dumbledore."

"Of course dear boy. It's lunchtime now. Go to your rooms then come down to the great hall for lunch."

"Okay."

They walked out without even asking who Filch was.

"Albus who were they?"

"They are from another world. I think we should keep an eye on them, in case they become confused no?"

"Certainly Albus."

"Inform the teachers that this is an upmost secret, on the same level as the order."

"Albus?"

"I don't think the boy was lying when he said he was over 400 years old which means.. he's immortal."

"But if Voldemort hears.."

"Exactly why we must get them back as soon as possible."

Macgonagall looked at the door the two boys had left and felt her dormant mother instincts kick in. She drew herself up and nodded once to the headmaster and strode out the room.

Dumbledore became serious as the door swung shut.

What have we stumbled onto? he wondered.......

REVIEW please?

i'll get lonely without them.

yes i'm that sad. so review!


	2. Chapter 2

disclaimer: i don't own whatever i'm writing about.

wooh.

Chapter two:

"those people are very naive, eh chibi? Letting strangers collect knowledge of their base."

"yeah, that or overconfident."

The alchemist and the Homunculus explored the emormous castle, taking down strategic points and locations. Ed was almost in shock from all the blatently non equivalent exchange things in this place. Moving paintings, staircases, suits of armour-wince- and ghosts-double wince-. Even Envy stared at some things. When they had walked around most of the upper floors they tried -and then suceeded- to get down lower. Suddenly they saw a door marked Argus Filch.

"hey chibi-san, wasn't the person supposed to take us to our rooms called Filch."

"Yeah, let's go see if he's busy."

They knocked barely and walked in to see a cat with blood red eyes staring at them haughtily. It leapt gracefully down onto the floor and glared at them. Seeing the intelligence in it's dark ochre eyes. He squatted and stared into them, communicating silently.

_hello._

_who are you? what do you want with master?_

_We seek his help._

_everyone does but they do not appreciate him._

_i see, we shall try to convey his importance during our meeting red eyed one._

_very good yellow eyed one. if i didn't know better i'd say you were a cat._

Ed staightened as a crotchety old man shuffled through glaring at them the whole time.

"Thank you for seeing us mr. Filch."

he eyed Ed for a long time before huffing.

"Well at least you got manners. And Mrs. Norris seems to approve."

"She is a highly intelligent cat."

Obviously he adored this cat as he brightened immediately at this comment.

"That she is. Anyway who are you and whaddya want?" He said becoming suspicious and narrowing his watery eyes at them.

"Oh. chibi-san he's suspicious! He at least has some sense when two strangers appear."

"Hush Envy. We're researchers who have just arrived and were sent by Dumbledore to see if you could locate rooms for us."

"I suppose you'll want them immediately?" he grumbled.

Ed shook his head. "No, you must be very busy taking care of a whole school of this magnitude and we don't need our rooms until after dinnertime. If we could have them then that would be possible?"

Filch blinked, obviously not used to being given a choice stopped for a moment.

"O-of course Mr.?"

"I am Edward Elric and this is my.."

Ed blinked. what was Envy?

"I'm his boyfriend. Envy."

Filch raised an eyebrow but nodded.

"One bed or two?" he asked firmly obviously ignoring the slight reddening of his nose.

"One will be fine. Less hassle for you I suppose finding a room." Envy said gruffly but Ed smiled at the well hidden meaning.

Filch nodded. "I will have your rooms ready by the end of dinner in the great hall. Come by my office after and I will show you to your room."

"Thank you. Just so we're on time where is the great hall in corralation to here?"

Filch told them where and seeing as it was nearing dinnertime anyway they headed off and came upon it quite quickly. They walked in and saw four long rows of tables each decorated to a certain style. Yellow and black, gold and blue, gold and red and silver and green. At the front was a raised dais where the teachers apparently sat. Only Dumbledore, Proffessor Macgonagall, a weird beetle looking woman and a short plump looking woman with a cheerful face and mud on her robes.

Dumbleore stood and smiled at them. They bowed politly Envy rather stiffly not really wanting to.

"Ah, so you managed not to get too lost. Good, good...."

Suddenly he was cut off as the bug like woman stood and pointed eerily at Ed.

"I...have forseen.." She said in a fake ominous voice."You will die a tragic, horrific death.."

Ed face vaulted. "Again!" He cried irritated this fraud was against him. "Why me?" Envy trapped his distressed lover in a hug.

Envy rolled his eyes. "Calm down chibi. It can't be worse than last time."

Ed glared at his lover. "It most certainly can't."

"So touchy..."

The bug eyed woman looked lost as her dramatic speech intended for awe and fear went ignored.

"Calm down young man, Proffessor tralawney's predictions never come true. Come eat." Macgonagall whispered eying the two boys who appeared in the headmasters room. Ed's eyes went big at all the food laid out and Envy grinned.

"Be polite Chibi-san."

Ed reigned in his eyes and raised his eyebrows at Envy for contridicting him on manners. The other proffessor decided to introduce herself.

"I'm Proffessor Sprout the herbology teacher. Are you staying long?"

Ed shrugged." At the moment indefinitely."

Proffessor Sprout saw Envy's possesive expression and smiled.

"What are your names?"

"I'm Ed and this is Envy."

Envy nodded his head before settling back and leaning on his chair. Dinner was quiet but not awkward and the teachers found Ed to be captivating and clever, if a little blunt and Envy sarcastic and non-approachable. All of them wondered how such a nice boy like Edward liked in a boy like Envy. Oh, they knew, Envy had told them right off that he and Ed were together and glared at anyone who looked like they might object. Then he settled down and closed his eyes murmuring "Oyasumi, o-chibi-san...."

The teachers ignored the sleeping teen as best they could and started questioning Ed.

"I know you might not want to answer some questions dear boy but we need some answers." Dumbledore said kindly. Ed nodded.

"I expected this. I mean we are at war...wait are you?"

Dumbledore nodded amiably and Ed nodded taking the information in.

"With who?"

Everything went silent as Dumbledore frowned.

"A dark wizard misusing his power. Fifteen years ago a wizard named Tom Riddle wanted power. He wanted all wizards to have pureblood rule, and muggle borns-none wizards- to be eradicated. He killed hundreds of people to do this and created mass fear, no-one trusted each other, everyone feared who would be next..."

"A boy like you might not understand but our whole society..."

"Do not call me a child. I have seen things, and you don't know what they are."

Sprout stopped. "I know children do not like be called young but it was a war, it's very complicated.."

"No, war is not complicated. It is horror. You meet someone, perfectly normal, you talk, you think their good then they stab you in the back and try to kill you. We know, proffessor, death is our preacher. The military is unforgiving."

"Military...?" Now Pomora was confused. Wizards had no military.

" We didn't mean to belittle you Edward but can we continue our questions?"

nod.

"How did you come here?"

"Well..Envy and I were drawing and array when it glowed without the use of alchemy and we were pulled into it and were thrown out here."

"Has something like this happened before? You seem awfully calm when being transported through dimensions."

"No, I just keep a cool head. many other weird things have happened to me before so i know shouting and raving don't usually do anything."

"true, true."

"Anything else, I think Envy's tired."

"No. We'll carry this conversation on tomorrow. Good night Edward."

"'Night Proffessor's."

And Ed picked up Envy without so much a a grunt, making them re-asess his strength. he walked out of the great hall and strode to Filch's office, knocking as politely as he could carrying a lanky led them up to a painting of a man in wizarding robes running around a library. The expression of manic determination reminded Ed of one librarian. Sheska. He smiled and cleared his throat. The man stopped running and saw them.

"P..pas..word." the man gasped, trying to catch his breath.

Filch turned to them. "Think of a password and he will only open to that password. Only the people who you tell will know."

With that he nodded to Ed and walked off. Mrs. Norris stared at him.

_I still think there's something catlike about you_ and she prowled off. He turned back to the expectant painting. He smiled at the snoozing sin.

" Hagane Yashi. That's the password, hagane yashi."

The painting swung open and Ed walked into a very well decorated room. Light blue furnishings with silver lining, made the room airy and cool. he spotted a door and it lead into an ornate bedroom with an en suite bathroom.

Swanky- Ed thought as he lay Envy down intending to investigate what looked like a shelf of books but was yanked back onto the bed by a hand. Long, muscular arms wrapped around his waist securing him on the bed as Envy pressed his head into the crook of his neck and sighed,

"good night chibi-san...." He breathed and after that as much as Ed struggled he couldn't get out of his grip so he about faced and drifted off facing Envy........

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"WAKE UP GODDAMMIT!" A very large book hit Envy in the head, jolting him awake. He narrowed his eyes and flipped off the bed.

"What was that for?"

"YOU. You were..calling out...for Mustang.." Ed growled, golden eyes liquifying in rage. Beware a pissed off Elric.

Envy remembered his dream, how could he not? He and his chibi, perfectly happy...then that Fuhrer bastard came, taking his perfect, golden chibi.....Envy growled at the thought of it. But seeing his Edward, furious because he might have been thinking about another man assauged his fears of inadequacy. He smiled gently, catching Ed off guard as he captured ruby lips in his. Most of his kisses were passionate, or lusty but this while not chaste, was sweet and kind. Ed subconsciously smiled into the kiss, and wrapped his arms around Envy's neck.

"Mine." Murmured Envy as they broke for air. He held his koi close and breathed in the smell of parchment, smoke and all the other things that come with alchemy, along with the scent that was purely Ed, a mixture of oil from his automail and mixed spices. Exotic.

Ed, though confused as to why his koi was being this affectionate brushed it aside and enjoyed it.

They soon broke apart and went down to breakfast to be interrogated again. the teachers became less suspicious towards them and talked about Hogwarts and the wizarding world and slowly both became less ignorant. Envy almost obliterated the table when the food appeared out of nowhere.

"Calm yourself Envy, it's just magic. The house elves make it then send it up. Nothing to be frightened of."

Ed snorted at the idea Envy might be afraid of food.

They spent their days getting to know the school, including the grounds.

FLASHBACK

"This is the forbidden forest. many dark creatures inhabits this place so I implore you not to enter."

Suddenly four or five black horse like things came out from the shadows of the looming trees. they were skeletal, leathery and had wings folded into their flanks. Red staring eyes. they had riders on them but it was like looking through fog to see their features.

"What are those things?" Envy said curiously. Dumbledore looked melancholy at this and stared at them both.

"They are thestrals. They are known as the creatures of death because only those who have seen death can see them. And only those who've killed can see their rider."

Ed and Envy walked towards the horses when suddenly they stopped. The thestrals had kneeled down in front of Envy and the riders had slipped off and done the same.

Dumbledore stood in awe as the magestic creature's bowed to the young boy.

Very interesting indeed-Albus thought. What could this mean?

Ed smiled at Envy's confused face and leaned towards him.

"Your dead remember? Maybe it's because you've come back from the dead and thestrals are linked with death."

Envy agreed and patted each thestral on the head and nodded to each rider. They then went back to the castle, Dumbledore saying how it was extrodinary and uncommon and suchlike.

END OF FLASHBACK

Every time they went near the forbidden forest the thestrals came. They seemed to like Ed but they absolutely adored Envy.

During one of the grooming sessions that the boys indulged the creatures in they heard a loud booming voice.

"BLIMEY! Where 'ave tha the'trals gott'n ta?"

They looked up, and up, and up, much to Ed's chagrin, to see a giant of a man, with a bush of a beard and almost shocked black, tangled hair.

"'ello. o are you? 'Aven't seen ya around much. "

"Hey. I'm Ed and this is Envy."

The giant man nodded. "I'm 'Agrid. Tha the'tral seem to 'ave taken a likin' to you mr. Envy."

"Yeah, their pretty cool." Envy resumed brushing down the leader. Both of them liked Hagrid, he reminded them of Al, height included, and they talked before both boys had to go inside for dinner.

September the first approached quickly and Dumbledore went through with them what they were going to say.

"So, your name's will be..."

"Edward Hagane."

"Envy Homunculus."

"ages.."

"Both 19."

"good...reasons for staying..."

"We need to research for our work on the philosopher's stone with the only one alive to have created a magic based one."

"where do you come from...."

"A small place in the north of Germany called Amestris."

"No wands because..."

"umm, we are not wizards we are squits."

"Squibs my dear boy. I'm afraid you might get teased for that one."

"Umm, maybe we should change it then...Envy gets irritated with idiots quite quickly and can get....violent."

"Then we shall say you are researchers and do not need wands."

"Kay."

"We'll remember proffessor."

September the first, EVENING:

"Proffessor where will we sit?" Ed asked as the students chatter filled the entrance hall. Dumbledore turned to them, as did most of the arriving teachers who had not seen them before.

"You will sit with us as you usually have, there are two extra places at the end."

Ed nodded and they both walked and sat down just as the students poured into the hall............

REVIEW PLEASE! I'll be sad if you dont'!

Don't make me cry.............


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: I didn't claim to even if i wanted to so there! God killed the queen, MAN!

Chapter Three:

AHEM!!!ATTENTION! for those who've read chapter three already then RE-READ this is different because my friend uploaded the chapter and it took me ages to realise it was up there!!!!! RE-READ!!

GO CHIBINESS!

"Who do you think they are?" Harry whispered furiously to his friends as they sat down.

"I dunno mate but they don't look half weird do they? Who has green hair? And those clothes??"

Hermione frowned.

"They could be spies from voldemort. We should find out."

Nodding the three sat down and stared with the rest of the school at the new strangers.

"But why would Dumbledore let them in then? And let them sit on the teachers table? If they're our new teachers then I'm gonna drop DADA."

"They're too young to be teachers."

Harry frowned at the two strange boys sitting at the ned of the teacher's table.

"If something's going on we better find out."

Ron frowned. "Why us?"

"Because we've faced these sorts of thing before."

Ron nodded shrugging. Dumbledore stood up, eyes twinkling at his students.

"Welcome for another year at hogwarts. I hope all of you had a refreshing holiday, back ready to be stuffed wiht knowledge."

Harry smiled at this, same old dumbledore.

The sorting was interesting as usual, each gryffindor cheering their new housemate to the table. Then Dumbledore stood up again for the other notices.

The three listened barely but sat up ramrod straight when he said who was the new DADA teacher. Giant smiles on their faces they cheered professor Lupin in from an antechamber. They listened as dumbledore introduced the weird new people.

"Research students? We've never had them before." Hermione said in confusion. Ron nodded. "none have been here ever since my brothers have come."

Harry narrowed his eyes suspiciously at the apparent 'researchers'. The green haired one looked up from leaning back in his chair and smirked coldly at him. the blond one noticed and raised and eyebrow, diverting the other boys attention. They chatted for a bit, Harry's gaze continuously on them.

"Mate, aren't you gonna eat?"

Harry tore his eyes from the mysterious people and turned to his feast, resolved to figure this thing out. The feast was excellent as usual and he felt at home in the sweeping halls and dusty paintings. After the feast the headmaster bade them all goodnight and everyone filed out the hall to bed.

"Why don't we congratulate Professor Lupin?" Hermione suggested. "Before we go to bed. I'm sure he'd like to hear from us."

Harry and Ron agreed enthusiastically and they walked up to the professor's room. The door was ajar and they peered round only to find Lupin talking to the researchers. harry narrowed his eyes.

"You are most definitely a chimera." The blond one said almost joking to Lupin. he shook his head.

"A werewolf is not a chimera Ed."

"Can't you just pretend for the sake of my sanity that you're a chimera and not a moon changing werewolf?"

Harry felt angry at that. How dare he try to change what Lupin was. he marched into the room and looked up into the blonde's face.

"Proffessot Lupin is a werewolf not anything else less dangerous so you better get over that now or we'll have issues."

he snarled expecting backup from his teacher. What he didn't expect was the golden haired teen to laugh and ruffle his hair like a mere child. He had faced more than the boy could ever know. He was not, a child.

"harry," Lupin said soothingly." I don't think that's what Ed meant."

"Of course not. Lupin dangerous? Ha, he only turns into a bloodthirsty beast once a month, that's hardly dangerous."

"But I'm not always in the best frame of mind." Lupin reminded him, worried he wasn't taking this seriously.

"I think I can handle a cranky puppy." Ed said smiling. Lupin laughed while Harry flushed at getting reprimanded. Ron and Hermione entered the room and looked curiously around.

"Well, what did you mean then?" Harry said shortly, irritated at getting patronised by a spoilt teen.

Ed pouted looking at Lupin. A laugh came from the other side of the room. They turned and saw a the green haired teen from before lounging on one of the chairs, grinning manically.

"Edo-kun is upset because he can't theorise what Remus had got." he said in a androgynous voice.

"I can't believe an entire molecular structure changes because of the lunar cycle. I can believe the radiation from the beams of a full moon can cause a chimera to become violent and more animalistic but really, a werewolf? Will dracula pop out next?"

"Well, there are vampires." Lupin said completely serious. Ed tugged at his hair.

"Your stupid world is messing with my equations. Why are you torturing me!"

"Stop being so melodramatic hagane." The androgynous boy teased earning a rather evil glare from the blond.

"I've finally accepted equivalent exchange doesn't always work in the world so why are you trying to change all I have stock in?"

"Because you won't let me go on a bloodthirsty rampage when I get angry. You should try it Chibi, it's a great stress reliever."

Lupin laughed as did Hermione. Ed scowled at the homunculus while Harry was still sulking at being belittled.

"Well, I think you all should be in bed." Lupin said as he quietly chuckled. Hermione and Ron nodded and grabbed the fuming harry and ran off.

"Well I'm going to bed. Hopefully you'll become a chimera overnight." Ed grumbled. Envy shook his head and then smirked. It was time to play with his chibi-san. He ran forward at great speed(At human pace)and picked up his chibi muttering a quick "Bye" to a grinning Lupin, he flitted down corridors until he got to the painting.

"Password Chibi?"

"I'm not telling. You know I don't like it when you do that."

"Please Chibi?" Envy murmured hotly into Ed's ear, extracting a shiver from Ed. Smirking, he skimmed his nose down the side of his neck, grinning wider at the response. Kissing gently, licking subtly and biting softly all brought Ed to his mental knees.

"Now..the password?" Envy whispered as he nipped his ear.

"H-hag-gane...yashiiiii." Ed moaned at Envy's ministrations. The portrait opened with mutterings of 'hormones' 'teenagers' Envy walked straight into their room and slammed the door shut.....

* * *

Harry groaned as he was woken up by Sheamus shouting at dean for dousing him with water. Groaning again and rolling over he accidentally rolled out of the soft, warm bed. He stayed there for a moment, not wanting to get up then hoisted himself off the cold floor and dragged himself to his trunk to find his robes. He woke up Ron and they trudged down to breakfast. the weird teens, Ed and the green haired person were already there, eating and laughing.

Classes were normal, boring tedious mixed with new wonders and interest. The next few weeks flew by in a flurry of parchment and essays. Harry was still suspicious of the researchers and tried to find out as much as he could. Which was nothing. He knew their names, their age and where they'd come from.

Hermione and Ron both agreed he was paranoid and should calm down but they were so suspicious and they could work for voldemort. As his enemy shouldn't Harry know?

He was still thinking this as they walked to care of magical creatures. They met Hagrid at the edge of the forest, gryffindors perfectly separated from the slytherin's each house glaring at the other.

"Well, ta'day we're gonna look at some facinating new creatures..ENVY!" He bellowed. The green haired boy walked boredly out, ignoring the stares of the kids. The blond came out after him, looking just as bored.

"Is Envy the green haired kid?" Ron asked loudly confused. Hermione shook her head.

"It's obviously a nickname, to go with his fake green hair."

Envy narrowed his eyes and walked forward until he was quite close to Hermione.

"For your information Miss Granger, Envy is my birthname and this is my natural hair colour." He hissed towering over her. Ron stepped between them, looking falsely confident.

"Leave Hermione alone."

Envy smirked."Don't worry kid, I'm not here to steal your girlfriend. Chibi would be quite put out if I did and I'd at least get stabbed in the stomach."

Ed shook his head. "Yashi get over here and stop harrassing the little kids."

harry bristled at that. He was not a kid.....and what did yashi mean?

"Alrigh' now ya can call 'em out now Envy."

"What's he calling Hagrid?" Ron asked. Hagrid smiled.

"Thestrals. They're really taken with him."

Hermione scoffed. "Thestrals don't like anyone. They are apathetic to all creatures except the dead. They.." She blanched. "They respect the dead by eating them."

"Cool, so they're useful."

Envy had come back out and as Hagrid had said all the thestrals were grouping around him, nuzzling his hand and bumping their skeletal snouts. Harry raised his eyebrows. O.K. now that was suspicious.

"Now, who can see thestrals?"

Harry obviously put his hand up, as did surprisingly Neville and a few others. Envy and Ed did not.

"How come they like you when you can't even see them?" he stated hoping for some more info. on these guys. Envy smirked wickedly then put on an innocent face.

"Why whoever said I couldn't pipsqueak?" he said on that voice which you could never know if he was a boy or a girl except for the fact the blonde-Ed- referred to him as such.

"Don't call me a pipsqueak." He huffed. "I'm not a child."

Envy just smirked wider. Ed smirked as well making an evil glance towards his partner. His heightened senses told him that envy was having fun in teasing a new victim since teasing Ed too much led to no hugging/snuggling/kissing for a month and though he was evil, Envy was a possessive boyfriend and had to be able to touch Ed 24/7 to check he was still there.

Harry huffed again but Ed laughed.

"Don't worry about it, he used to call me pipsqueak too. He's insane."

Envy pouted. "I am not. I'm clinically deranged."

Harry was struggling to maintain his huffing but the dramatic pose of the tall green haired kid piggybacking the small, stoic blond who was rolling his eyes left him smiling.

"all righ' are ya payin' attention now?" Hagrid boomed at the class as the thestrals clustered around a dead cow as some watched the beasts and some just watched chunks of cow disappearing into the high Scotland air.

Hagrid went on describing to those who couldn't see them what they looked like and their habits while Harry took sneek peeks at the two standing slightly off from the group.

Ed seemed tired and was leaning against his friend, slowly closing his eyes until something Envy whispered made him shoot up straight blushing faintly while scanning for onlookers and eavesdroppers.

* * *

"ENVY!" Ed smacked his boyfriend up the head.

"Ow. What hagane?" Envy said innocently. But his eyes were glinting with mischief. Ed sighed and smiled.

"Your impossible."

"Nope, I'm evil."

They were walking to the library to research. not on the philosophers stone or on getting a way to go back home. They were researching on magic. They had seen some of this law bending technique.

"we're supposed to protect the boy and take over from him. Dumbledore even went so far as to say we're going to stay with his friend, the redhead and if you keep insulting him-No matter how much he deserved it- it's gonna be suspicious."

Envy nodded and they strolled on. They soon reached the library and got to work. Rather Ed got to work and Envy distracted him by playing with his hair........

"Huuufff! Why does everyone treat me like a child! They really don't know what it's like, trying to get respect and them seeing you as immature!" Harry ranted as Ron mmmed and aaahed and agreed as best he could.

Ron was in a uncharacteristically pensive mood and thought about what he was going to say to placate harry. (O_O)

"I think he's one of those people that think in different ways and don't know if they offend someone."

Harry acquiesced to that. Just then Hermione came in reading a book, frowning.

"What's wrong Hermione, someone dog ear the book again." Ron said teasingly. Hermione shook her head.

"I'm looking through the graduates year book...and they're not there."

"Really?" Harry asked, suspicious once again.

Hermione nodded. "Even taking two whole years off their supposed age they haven't graduated the German magic school, Doofenschmeit, or even flunked, they don't exist. Which means..."

"Which means they could work for Voldemort.." Harry finished. "We have to tell Dumbledore right now."

They all ran out of the Gryffindor common room and up the changing stairs to the gargoyle protecting the headmasters room.

"Password?" It drolled, sounding very bored.

What was the new sweet that Dumbledore mentioned??

"Cinnamon rolls." He gasped still trying to get his breath back from running all the way from the other side of the castle. It lit up and jumped aside and they ran up the steeply spiralling staircase.

-"haha..I've got you now.."-

They heard from inside the room and burst in on a strange scene. Sitting on the floor playing chess with their headmaster was Ed. the blond transfer was grinning while a pensive Dumbledore was sitting opposite looking like he was losing. The other transfer was lying down seeming to be asleep with his head in the diminutive blonde's lap, said blond rhythmically stroking the long, dark hair.

"Yes Harry? You seem urgent in appearence." Dumbledore mused.

"W-w-well P-professor Dumbledore,..um..well" Hermione stuttered until Harry couldn't take anymore.

"They are lying." He said pointing at the teens sitting on the floor. Dumbledore raised an eyebrow.

"How so?"

"They never went to the school they said they did, they don't exist." He insisted.

Dumbledore laughed merrily, his eyes twinkling as he turned to the teens opposite him.

"Looks like you've been caught out."

Envy answered without even opening his eyes.

"I would've had a perfectly plausible excuse for that until you said that old man. But you wanted them to know didn't you? Smug bastard."

"Y-You can't talk that Professor Dumbledore that way!" He shouted. What was going on?

"Professor, what's going on?" Hermione said, voicing Harry's thoughts.

"It's true Edward and Envy do not come from Doofenschmeit nor do they exist on this plane."

"Well then where do they come from?"

Ed answered this time. "From the other side of the gate."

He stood up, Envy rising with him.

"Envy and I...we do not belong to this world...we come from an adjacent dimension from a country called Amestris."

"We came through the gate and ended up here and have been researching how to get back ever since."

Silence from the Gryffindor's. A different world? Parallel dimensions?

"That's amazing." Came the breathless voice of Hermione. "A different world."

"Oh very different, no magic and no technology. We come from the 1930's in our time, so technology is just starting."

"Alchemy is much more useful." Ed muttered and Envy smirked.

"You say that about anything but this magic is useful too. But they're so much like Mustang."

"Who's Mustang?" Harry asked wanting to keep up with the conversation in case something useful cropped up.

"My superior. He uses flame alchemy but take away his gloves or catch him in rain he's useless. It's the same here. You rely so much on your wands is they get taken away you're as helpless as babies." Ed cried, sounding like he had wanted to say this for a long time. He had moved to lean against the emerald haired boy's chest and said boy curled his long arms around the shorter's in reply.

With a turn Harry realised they were right. he remembered all the times his wand had been useless and then so had he.

"What do you do when you can't do alchemy?" He asked curiously. Ed shrugged.

" I can fight. Don't you have any defence classes here?"

"No, we only have Quidditch and any exercise is with your arms because your sitting on a broom ." Harry said. Ed shrugged.

"The only reason you're all not giant balls of lard, rolling to your classrooms is the size of this place. All the walking should make up for it."

Harry laughed at the mental image.

"So who are in your world? What's your school like?" he wanted to get onto lighter topics. Ed seemed really nice and he wanted to get to know him.

Ed smiled, but it was a bitter, twisted smile.

"I don't go to school. I haven't been to school since I was nine."

Hermione frowned.

"Okay, that's weird why? Did you drop out? What did your parents say? What about Envy..." Ron pointed out rudely, not noticing the increasingly uncomfortable looks on Ed and Envy's faces. Envy decided that the ranting, redhead had to stop before his o'chibi burst into tears. Not that he ever would in front of people. Well, Envy thought smugly, except for me.

"Shut up." He said bluntly. Ron stopped and looked at him with a 'what did I do wrong' face that he hated with a random passion.

"Please exterminate that idiotic expression before I start getting my knives.*" He murmured. Ron paled and squeaked in the affirmative stepping back behind Hermione.

"So rude..." Hermione muttered. "But he does have a point. Why did you drop out of school? Or is that when you leave school in your world?" She pressed, eager for more information on other worlds. Ed became sombre.

"I dropped out of school because I had something to do, me and Al, we had to.." He trailed off. He shook his head. " My parents had no say in the matter, much as I wished one of them did. My bastard of a father left when I was three and my mother died when I was nine, still pining for him to come back. Bastard didn't even come to her Funeral." Ed knew that Hoenhiem couldn't of because of his decaying body but he still held it against him. Envy tensed at the mention of his abandoning creator and Ed leaned even further back into his lovers body and grasped one of the sins deadly hand with calming vibes.

Hermione looked abashed and decided to ask something else.

"What's your world like?" She asked brightly, trying to cheer up the tension filled depression on the blonde's face. He smiled with nostalgia.

"I lived in a country called Amestris. I lived in the countryside in a small town called Reesembool. I lived there until I was twelve before my brother Alphonse and I burnt our house to the ground and went off to the capital, Central."

Hermione looked slightly put off. "You burnt your house to the ground? With all your possessions inside? Why on earth.." She raved until Ed put up a hand to stop her.

"I took the money and some clothes for me...and Al." He added. Only Envy caught the hesitation and when his chibi looked at him he knew why. _Don't tell them.._said the circles of gold. he gave the slightest nod.

"But we were going to do something, something important. We thought that if we had no home to go back to it would be easier to stay with it instead of quit."

Harry could understand this. When he left Hogwarts, or if he went to battle Voldemort, he would always just want to give up and come back to the stone walls and roaring fires and feasts.

"When I was twelve, Al and I travelled to the Capital Central, to join the Military."

"THE MILITARY!" The trio shouted in time. Ed looked faintly surprised but said nothing as they stared at him in blatant disbelief. He chuckled as Envy hid his snigger's. They did look funny after all.

"Yes. In our military, there are soldiers and there are State Alchemists. People think the military are corrupt and anyone who's a state alchemist is a dog of the military. In short..." He stopped as Envy tittered again, barely noticeable.

"...We are not liked. But even so I passed my state alchemist's exam the first time with flying colours. I am a prodigy and was the youngest ever major in the army. They usually don't let in kids but I was an exception." He said smiling proudly.

Hermione looked like she wanted to interrupt but Harry shushed her with a shake of his head. Ed was talking and if they interrupted he would close up again.

"My superior knew about Al's disability and hung it over me to make me behave. I could research what I needed to know...and he would let me. Al and I travelled all around the country looking for clues to what we were looking for but it was such an unknown subject, most leads were false. Along the way I helped some people with my alchemy and I became famous."

"Every alchemist has a state name registered to them. For example, my Superior, Mustang uses special cloth in his gloves to make a spark then bends the oxygen density and he can make flames and bombs. he's known as the flame alchemist."

"Pyromaniac."

"My name is the full-metal alchemist. The..late fuhrer had a twisted sense of humour."

"Why were you called that? I get Mustigs or something but why full-metal. it sounds harsh for a kid."

"Just an inside joke. I had to earn any respect because of my age but once I beat most of them up they shut up."

"So what was your job?" Harry said politely.

"I did research. I found out some important information that caused a lot of minor problems..

"It was how I met Envy." He then smirked at the aww in Hermione's eyes. "Don't be fooled Miss Granger, it wasn't romantic at all. Quite the opposite. We were out to kill each other. Well, you were out to kill me, I was just a roaming researcher." he said smiling at Envy.

Envy pouted. "You know chibi, that makes me sound bad."

"I wonder why..." Ed muttered. He then smiled brightly. "But whatever. Let's hear about this Voldemorte person."

Harry raised an eyebrow at the smile while talking about mass murderers but went on to explain the horrors that Voldemort had committed in his reign.

Ed looked thoughtful and grave but Envy looked almost bored.

"So, has Lord moldybutt got enough power to actually do some damage or is still apparently a ghosty evil entity?" Ed asked at the end. Dumbledore stepped forward.

"Not yet but soon." He said in a grave voice. Envy lifted the mood by sighing loudly and unintelligibly rambling about "senile, dramatic O.A.P.'s.." causing the wizards to chortle.

Dumbledore clapped his hands distracting the three.

"I think it's time for everyone to head off to bed, don't you agree?"

"What if we don't?" Envy asked smirking. Ed playfully smacked him and pulled him out the door down the winding staircase. As they entered their room Ed screeched.

"Ugh! That was horrible, I can't believe I put that much detail about my life up for grabs." He fisted his hair, clenching tighter until Envy released his chibi's hands for fear of hair loss.

"I think it was the room, that headmaster is sneaky. The atmosphere was thick and warm making your guard lower."

sigh..." Yeah but I think he thinks he's doing the right thing, finding out about the other side."

"It will do him no good, he won't be able to get to the other side without alchemy and it will lose our trust. Nothing dangerous could come through the gate without the gate permitting it."

"Ahem, an evil murdering homunculus, that apparently isn't dangerous?"

"Haha so funny pisqueak!"

"Palm tree!"

And so started another hour long verbal battle for them, neither one willing to give up.....

Review i made this chapter especially long for all you awesome reviewers out there!!

~~~Twinky!!!~~~~


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own F.M.A. or H.P. i think we've determined that by 6he amount of disclaimers there are ON this site do we really have to do it again unless we're delusional? I THINK NOT!**

**Chapter Four:**

"I really didn't expect that." Harry muttered as they entered the common room. Hermione looked still in shock.

"Parallel dimensions exist..." she breathed. "Theories proved false now proved real...what do you think their world was like? Do you think it would be like ours or would it be completely different?"

" I dunno Hermione but I'm tired let's go to bed." Ron said oafishly as he staggered up the stairs to their dorm. "We'll...ahh. figure this..out......tomooooorow." He yawned and pushed against the locked door, for about five minutes until he realised that it wasn't opening.

"Whassup with tha dooooor?" He whined slumping against the wall beside it. "Haaaarrry, the doors broken!"

Harry blinked, then laughed loudly at his friend sleepy antics. He unlocked the door, looked at Ron pointedly as he did so and swiftly entered the dorm room. Ron turned and winked at Hermione -having suceeded at cheering their morose friend up- and entered the warm room. Hermione smiled, sometimes Ron was quite sharp.....then again...

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Breakfast was quick for the two Amestrians as they wanted to escape the stares of the gryffindor trio. Envy practically dragged Ed away from his third helping of sausages.

Mme Pomfrey tutted at them and whispered to Professor Sprout.

"One never eats and the other eats like a suburban American child but they have practically the same mass."

"Growing boys Poppy, growing boys." Sprout chirped.

Ed entered the library and his golden eyes took a gleaming bronze hue and he purred.

"Ah knowledge." And he pounced on the last book he'd put down, tucked away in a dark cranny of the shelf. Envy sighed and resigned himself to another day of boring research and reading.

"Chibi you have eternity to read books, pace yourself!"

Ed raised an eyebrow. "After 'V' has been treasoned we'll be sent back and then I'll cut down on my reading, but I've got a limited amount of time here."*******

**This was their code for Voldemort and when he's killed. Reference to awesome graphic novel**

Envy huffed, "One day off is all I'm asking Edo."

"Well what about this Hogsmeade trip all the midgets have been nattering on about?"

........

"You're just pleased you got to call someone else midget for a change, aren't you?" Said Envy in a deadpan voice.

"Yup!"

"Hypocrite"

"Pot calling the cocaine black!"

"Just 'cause I look like a plant doesn't mean I'm a drug!"

"You're my drug."

"...that's sweet. Yet slightly creepy. You sounded like Edward Cullen."

"DO NOT MENTION THAT IDIOTIC, SINGLE MINDED, STALKERISH SPARKLING GAY WEIRDO WHO UNFORTUNATELY SHARES MY NAME SUICIDAL MORON, IN MY PRESENCE!!!"

"Alright."

"...I feel emotional."

"Are you pregnant?"

"WHAT? NO? This isn't an Mpreg you know! What would our child LOOK like?!"

"Well I was thinking.."

"The horror of it all."

"..."

"........."

"...it would have blond hair with purple eyes, or green hair with golden eyes, decisions decisions..."

"WHAT DESCISIONS? We're not having one!"

"I wonder what we would call her? A sin's name like Apathy or something like Trisha?"

"...You'd consider my Mom's name?"

"Sure, it was a pretty name."

"Awww thanks...wait, why are we talking about this?!?!"

"Umm, chibi..."

"What?!"

"It's lunch."

"....Words cannot describe the hatred I feel for you now."

"Now you know how I felt."

"...The love encompasses the room doesn't it?"

"Love ya too Chibi now let's get you fed!"

And with that Envy picked up his lover and pranced out the library leaving all with ears larger than they should be, dazed and traumatised. Advice, never listen in on a conversation between Ed and Envy, you will not come out of it sane...

* * *

Harry trudged gloomily into the great hall for a quick lunch then going to the library. Stupid snape and his hellebore essay. He sat down and grabbed the nearest thing to him and stuffed it into his mouth. This continued for a few minutes...

Ed and Envy were staring at the dazed boy with faint amusement.

"Do you think he knows he's eaten Brussels sprouts topped with whipped cream?" Ed asked fascinated by the brunette's apparent lack of taste buds.

"Followed by trifle with gravy? I think even Gluttony would have trouble stomaching THAT particular concoction chibi." The sin drawled. Ed chuckled and nodded.

"C'mon palm tree I at least need to research more." And with that stood up and started walking out the room.

"HEY! I am not a palm tree! Take that back chibi!" he growled as he followed the diminutive blond out of the room....

Harry looked up and saw the green haired teenager flounce out the room (Not that Envy would EVER flounce!XD) and blinked. Then registered something awful assaulting his taste buds. Turning faintly green, then a puce colour he sprinted for the nearest bathroom, four floors away....

*******

**Anyone to get that quote tell me and you get a plate of mechanical cookies sent via magical portal i.e. Internet!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own F.M.A. or H.P. i think we've determined that by the amount of disclaimers there are ON this site. DO we really have to do it again unless we're delusional? I THINK NOT!**

**Chapter Five:**

Edward sighed as he finished a book on transfiguration. He had read on this the most and he still subconsciously hated it. He read the animal had no pain but people get spells wrong all the time. What if they forgot to change it? A poor raven staying a goblet forever. He couldn't condone it.

Envy looked up from his doodling of killing the small children in this school and saw Ed with his broody face on. And brooding meant no sex.

"Edo-kun? What wrong?" Envy simpered as he placed the morose blond in his lap.

"It's this transfiguration. I can't condone it. It's too close, to.. and what's worse is their _teaching _this stuff to people, _children!_" Ed whined, tugging at his bangs.

"Chibi, they were gonna do this if you are here or not. At least they're being taught how to be responsible with it and how to do it properly instead of having a little D.I.Y. session." Envy enticed softly.

Ed smiled. "Yes, I suppose, it apparently is painless, but it just changes somethings life so un-equivalently, with little thought or relevance to the animal it sickens me." He finished, slumping in his lover's lap. Envy rolled his eyes and started stroking the blond locks.

" How about we take the day off so you can relax. We'll go down to the lake, have a spar, you can eat and we can visit the thestrals, kay?"

Edward grinned softly and twisted so he could place a chaste kiss on the homunculus' cheek.

"You spoil me, ya know that?"

Envy smiled broadly. He liked spoiling his little blond, he deserved it.

"Well let's go!" He chirped hoisting Edward up into the air. Carrying him to the door squirming e paused and then smirked fiendishly, as only Envy could.

"Oh Chibiiii..." He purred in the Blond's ear instantly catching his attention with his tone if voice, "I'd stop wriggling if I were you, your giving me ideas..."

Edward turned a dark red and jumped out his boyfriends arms.

"Got any ideas that involved catching me? PERVERT!" He shouted as he ran out the corridor and down the hall steps, flooring it if the homunculus was playing. He managed to make it out to the lake before Envy caught up with a roar of laughter he pounced and claimed Ed's lips in a very dirty kiss.

"I win." Envy proclaimed as he sat on top of Edward not even out of breath (homunculus, duh?).

"r-r-r-eeally?" Edward said skeptically. Envy flipped off the smaller alchemist and stood nonchalantly.

"Ya gonna hit me or what Chibi-chan?"

Ed smirked. "Well I do need some exercise and chasing your anorexic butt around this lake sounds like a workout."

Envy mock gasped putting a hand over his mouth. "Such dirty words!"

Ed face-palmed and lept at him, twisting quickly try and drive the heel of his palm into his throat. Envy dodged fluidly and as Ed flew passed grabbed the hand aiming for his throat and flipped the blond boy further and higher into the air than before. Ed somersaulted three times before landing in a crouch and springing into action.

A serpintine dance commenced, a sequence of moves where one could not outshine the other...

xxx

Harry, Ron and Hermione strolled out to the lake to get some homework done in the relaxing sun. It was a rare day for it to be sunny and they were taking full-advantage. But movements from the far end of the lake slowed them.

"Who's that? What's going on there?" Hermione asked as she squinted to get good look. They wandered closer and hide behind a boulder. They peeked out and gasped.

It was Ed and Envy. Ed had forgone his red cloak, his black trimmed jacket and his black tank and was bare chested in the sun. He was breathing slightly hard and he had a sheen of sweat coating his rather apparent muscles.

"He's ripped for someone so ...young." Hermione said blushing profusely. Ron's ear turned their usual weasley red and he self-consciously puffed out his chest with mutterings of "..could be ripped too.."

But it was not Edward's apparent lack of clothing that enticed them to spy but the fact that he and Envy were fighting. Not a lovers spat, and not a teenage rough and tumble wrestle, but a full on martial arts filled, flinging through air combat battle. But it looked rehearsed, fluid graceful, all that fighting wasn't. No-one stumbled or faltered, it was in perfect synchronisation with each other.

"They're...really...REALLY good." Harry murmured. Ron and Hermione nodded, agreeing with him.

"The question now is.." He frowned at this, gaining his friends attention.

"How did they get so good?"

xxxx

REVIEW!!!

i know i haven't updated in a while so this was just for thise who are actually interested in this story and silently (or not so silently) cursing my name about my lack of updating. THERE WE GO FOLKS!


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own F.M.A. or H.P. i think we've determined that by the amount of disclaimers there are ON this site. DO we really have to do it again unless we're delusional? I THINK NOT!**

**Chapter Five:**

As the three wizards discussed possible theories ranging from secret ninjas to freaky obsessives Harry wondered what that glinting object he had seen on Ed's arm before it had disappeared.

"Well I can say for one thing Ed was packing some serious muscle." Hermione stated. Ron coloured and puffed himself out.

"Well, I've also filled out during the summer." He baritoned falsely. Hermione blinked. "Yes you have been getting a bit porky maybe you should go on a diet."

Ron deflated with gusto. "What you want me to be ultra-buff like the midget or anorexic like the freak?"

"Ron! That is a nasty statement and totally uncalled for!" Hermione shouted surprised. She stood up frowning at him. "I expected more of you. maybe I shouldn't be surprised."

Ron winced.

"Well its time for my study period with Ed. He wants me to help him with his research." And with that she marched off.

Ron sighed bitterly. "I hate my life. Seriously that Ed kid has it made. While he's short, he's gorgeous and a certified genius that is muscled to the T and is an all-round okay kind of guy.I hate him. It must be so easy living his life."

Harry nodded. Life seemed easy for Ed even if he was in a different dimension, he looked as if he had never had a bad day in his life.

While I have a murderous dark wizard after me Harry thought bitterly.

Hermione strolled into the library and found Ed easily. They researched for an hour chatting amiably with Envy staring listlessly at things. Until she found something interesting.

"Ed would you look at this? It looks like something you could use." She held out the dusty tome and he snatched it up.

Golden eyes lit up as he scanned the text and he held it out to Envy.

Curious, thought Hermione, as they talked some sort of scientific jargon she couldn't comprehend, I thought Envy wasn't the smart one but he seems to be keeping up with Ed intellectually perfectly.

"Hermione, what you've found has solved the entire equation..."

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